Lately, there’s been a lot of talk about therapy being a scam, a cult, or a place where people just go to complain about their lives without actually fixing anything. Recently, I saw something where 19Keys was saying that therapy makes people soft, that healing is fraudulent, and that mental illness is really just mental weakness. Now, let’s be real—I don’t completely agree or disagree with this. Mental illness is very real. Trauma is real. But I also believe in emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and the power of the mind to rewire itself. Healing isn’t just about talking about the pain; it’s about actually doing the work to evolve beyond it.
So, is therapy a cult? No. But can you get stuck in a cycle of venting, overanalyzing, and staying in the same emotional patterns? Absolutely. And if you don’t approach it the right way, you might end up mistaking the process of healing for actual progress in your life.
Therapy Is a Tool, Not a Crutch
Going to therapy and just talking about your problems is like signing up for a gym membership and never actually lifting the weights. A good therapist shouldn’t just validate your feelings—they should challenge you, push you, and give you tools to shift your mindset and behavior.
Yes, therapy can help you understand your past, but the goal isn’t to live there. Healing happens when you take that understanding and apply it to how you move in the present. If your therapy sessions feel like a never-ending cycle of trauma talk without any real change, it might be time to reassess how you’re engaging in the process.
Self-Awareness & Emotional Intelligence Are Key
A lot of people wait until they’re completely lost in life before seeking therapy. But what if you started the work before you hit rock bottom? One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy is that it’s the first step to healing. In reality, therapy works best when you’ve already started peeling back the layers yourself.
Self-awareness is a superpower. Before I even stepped into therapy, I had already spent time unwinding my own pain, sitting with my discomfort, and figuring out my triggers. So by the time I got to my therapist, I wasn’t just asking, Why am I like this?—I was asking, How do I change this? That made all the difference.
Emotional intelligence is about learning how to manage your thoughts, feelings, and reactions. It’s understanding that while pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice. Therapy should help you build that awareness, not keep you stuck in an identity of being “broken.”
Mindset, Spiritual Growth & Healing Go Hand in Hand
Healing isn’t just a mental thing. It’s emotional. It’s physical. It’s even spiritual. Therapy is one piece of the puzzle, but true transformation happens when you connect your mind, body, and spirit.
Meditation, mindfulness, self-reflection, movement—these are all things that work with therapy to create real change. If your therapist isn’t incorporating ways for you to act differently in your daily life, you might just be running in circles. Growth is uncomfortable, but it’s necessary.
How to Approach Therapy the Right Way
If you’re going to do therapy, do it with intention. Here’s how:
- Go in with a purpose – What do you actually want to change? Therapy isn’t a place to just talk; it’s a place to learn and grow.
- Choose a therapist who challenges you – If they only validate your feelings but never push you toward action, you might need a new one.
- Be willing to do the work outside of therapy – Healing doesn’t happen in a 50-minute session once a week. It happens in the choices you make every single day.
- Get comfortable with discomfort – Growth isn’t always easy. If therapy is making you think but not making you change, something is missing.
Final Thoughts: Therapy Works—If You Work It
At the end of the day, therapy isn’t a scam, but it’s also not a magic fix. It’s a resource, a tool, a guide—but the real work? That’s on you. Healing is about actively choosing to change, evolve, and rise above your circumstances. Therapy can help with that, but it can’t do it for you.
So no, therapy isn’t a cult. But if you’re not careful, you can get stuck in a cycle that keeps you exactly where you are. The goal isn’t to just process your pain—it’s to move past it. And that takes work, whether you’re in therapy or not. It's up to you to know better, and then DO better.
So, are you really healing? Or just talking about it?
